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A Christmas Carol by Truman Capote, as told to Andy Warhol

In the “Opinion” section of the December, 1978 edition of High Times, famed writer Truman Capote (1924 – 1984) chats with art-world legend Andy Warhol (1928 – 1987) about what they want for Christmas.

Merry Christmas…

AW: So do you know what you want for Xmas?

TC: Well, first of all, I don’t want anything for myself at Xmas, I think that’s very selfish and what not. I know what I want for other people.

For Jackie Kennedy I want a sex-change operation. The reason is that since the American people must have a Kennedy, I’d rather have a Jackie than a Teddy.
I want for Timothy Leary justice at last, a ten-year full professorship at Harvard.
For Richard Avedon, I hope his portrait of Kate Graham finally makes the cover of Newsweek. You know, they took a picture of him for the cover of Newsweek and then discarded it because I don’t know…the Pope died or something.
For Gore Vidal, because of his great politics, I wish him an ambassadorship to Paraguay…and hope he stays there forever.
For Larry Flynt, the newborn Christian, I want him to be made first ambassador to the Vatican.
For Norman Mailer, I want a five-million-dollar contract to rewrite the old Tenth Amendment.
For Mick Jagger, in his old age, the directorship of the Metropolitan Opera.
For Andy Warhol, at all times, the directorship of the Metropolitan Museum and all its branches.
For Anita Bryant, I want her to be appointed editor of the Advocate.
For Steve Rubell [owner of Studio 54], I want him to be appointed ambassador to the court of St. James.
For Muhammad Ali, I want him to be our first black president.
For Ralph Nader, a wife at last, none other than little Anne Ford.

Joy to the World…

AW: Is high society really high?

TC: I wouldn’t know, I never met anyone from high society. I think high society is a complete myth, made up from the movies. When Joan Crawford died, so did high society.